ChiliMacMacie

(Or, Stuff Macie likes to say.)

My Cooking Disasters — June 30, 2018

My Cooking Disasters

Guess who’s back. Back again. Tell a friend.

Yes, it’s me, Macie, I need to stop coming back here every July only to forget about my blog.

For goodness sake, this blog is almost 6 years old. I’m going on to become a freshman! Where have all these years gone?

Enough of that, though, time to talk about all the times I failed to make food even Gordon Ramsey would be ashamed of. And then laugh while I learn from my mistakes.

Bagged Ice Cream

Mom taught me this recipe back in the first grade and when I WAS able to make it I remember not liking it very much.

I attempted this recipe again pretty recently, because people online and even WIKIHOW made it look easy. What it actually was, however, is me shaking a cold bag while water is leaking from the bag and my hands are freezing. Repeat for 8 minutes until I gave up and threw it in the freezer overnight. When I checked the next morning it was a frozen blob of coffee sweetner, vanilla extract, and salt. I’m not sure if I didn’t shake it well enough or if I just missed something, but man I felt robbed. I wasn’t even able to eat it.

Some Chicken Ramen Thingy

This occured last summer when I thought I could make a chicken parmesean-styled lunch with my cooking skills (which back then consisted of only ramen and macaroni and cheese)

So I made the ramen just fine and heated up some chicken patties but when it came time to transfer ramen-to-plate I never drained the noodles, leading to me spilling the water everywhere and the chicken flavoring with it. I had to refill the water so I had to eat soggy chicken and noodles. It wasn’t that bad but it goes to show the consequences of too much water.

Nachos (twice)

I’ve attempted making these twice and each time it left a bad taste in my mouth…literally.

The first time was around the time I found an appreciation for refried beans, so I used what was left of that to put on shredded cheese and Totinos chips and slap em in the microwave for 45 seconds.

Take a wild guess what happened when I took a bite out of the nachos.

The second time happened a year after the first incident, where this time I added lettuce and hot sauce.

You’re not supposed to heat lettuce in the microwave and lil 11 year old me didn’t know that so I plucked the lettuce off and ate lukewarm nachos

Chicken

I actually technically reheated frozen chicken, but the pieces were too small to heat for the normal directions so I wasn’t even able to¬†eat the chicken because it was so burnt.

Potato Soup

You know those little Kraft bowls you see in your nearest neighborhood Wal-Mart? Well I had those in my storage but with potato soup instead of dried noodles. I did the directions *right but the result was pretty terrible and I got physically sick after eating it.

*And by that, I mean I did everything EXCEPT stir the soup

I just snacked on some pretzels later that day.

 

Well that’s it, everyone. Maybe if I remember this blog exists I’ll make one about my cooking successes

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